Day One - December 24th:
I woke at 4 a.m. to the cooing and sucking sounds of Arlo. He nursed as usual and we both drifted off to sleep. An hour and half later, I woke to Arlo moaning. I handed him to Matt to change a diaper and when Matt handed Arlo back to me I noticed that he felt quite warm. We took his temp. The thermometer read 103 degrees. I immediately called the midwife and Matt looked online to find that we needed to take him to the ER. Just as we were leaving, the midwife called and confirmed.
We entered the ER at 6 a.m. From that point on the hours and minutes blend together. It all seems like a dream. Arlo's rectal temp. read 105. He had to have an IV, but being so young and so chubby, the ER nurses tried 5 times in his arms and legs to get a vein with no luck. A nursery nurse finally found one in his head. A spinal tap was done to rule out meningitis and a catheter was used to get a clean urine sample.
Sometime around 10 a.m., in the moments after the catheter and before the spinal tap, I received a phone call from my sister with news that mom was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer that has spread from her pancreas to her stomach, liver and abdomen. She has been given 3 months to a year. There is nothing that can be done to save her...the cancer is too far advanced.
At some point in the late morning we were moved to a room in the pediatric wing of the hospital. Arlo slept a lot, Matt and I lay comatose, watching T.V. and trying to absorb all that had happened.
Around 4 p.m. Matt picked up Sam from our friends home and went home. Arlo and I spent our first night in the hospital.
Day Two - December 25th:
Matt and Sam came to the hospital in the morning by sled. It snowed over a foot on Christmas Eve and the roads were terrible, not to mention our driveway! We live very close to the hospital Matt felt safer pulling Sam by sled than driving. We opened a few gifts, watched a movie and then Matt and Sam went home for a few hours. Arlo and I napped and I knit. There wasn't much to do here on Christmas Day. I put Arlo in the sling and pushing his IV pole with my right hand, we wandered the hospital halls a little in an effort to get out of our room. Matt and Sam returned around 6 p.m. to share Christmas dinner with us. Matt ate Salisbury Steak and I had Lasagna. Not the perfect Christmas dinner, but definitely one to remember.
Day Three - Today, December 26th:
This morning I woke very early and felt awake. So I knit and watched T.V. as Arlo slept. For the first time in 2 days I felt peaceful...but only for an hour before the sun rose. Once the daylight made my world clear again, my mind returned to reality. Arlo had an ultrasound around 8 a.m. I spent some more time knitting and trying to relax. Around noon Matt and Sam arrived and we were moved to a new room. A good friend stopped by and took Sam for a few hours...Matt and I were alone with Arlo for the firs time in 3 days. It was nice. Matt's mom flew in to help with Sam and we visited in the room for a while. Everyone left about 7 p.m. and I found myself alone with Arlo thinking about my mom. Our pediatrician ordered a urine sample from a catheter and our nurse put the catheter in while I held my screaming baby. He wouldn't pee so she taped the catheter and told me to nurse him. I contorted myself in a crazy ways to nurse Arlo as the nurse held the catheter in place. It took Arlo 2 hours to urinate enough for the tests. During that 2 hours I nursed him, I sang to him, he pooped on me, he slept some...it was awful and 2 of the longest hours of my life. Here we are at midnight and I feel like a truck has run over me, but it feels good to write.
It has been determined that Arlo has a kidney infection. He has been on very strong IV antibiotics for the last 3 days and will continue to be on them until at least Sunday, the 31st. It was an E.Coli bacteria, likely from a little poop in his diaper that travelled into his urethra, that caused the infection. We have been reassured that there was nothing we did wrong...this was just bad luck.
So, Arlo and I are here at Central Washington Hospital trying to rest and relax. Now that his fever has gone and the antibiotics are working, he is almost back to his normal self. He developed a rash from the laundry detergent they use here, so we have to bring everything from home...even his diaper salve (THANKS, AGAIN, JANE!!). I have been pumping to keep up my milk supply, as he was nursing less due to the IV fluids he was receiving. The hospital staff has been great!! We are co-sleeping, I wear Arlo in my sling and take him for walks, all of my meals (including a 4th, lactating mother's meal) are complimentary...I feel very comfortable here...so ironic after having a home birth and avoiding the hospital.
Matt's mom is here to help, Matt's brother arrives Saturday and I feel a bit more relaxed knowing Sam will have ample care and Matt will have help.
I haven't even processed the news about my mom. Everything seems so surreal to me and I can't imagine my mother dying thousands of miles away. My sister is there and I talk to her and she tells me how bad it is, but when I talk about it I feel like I am talking about a movie or telling a story about someone else. All of my emotional reserves have been spent on Arlo for now. When Arlo is well, we'll travel to Maine. It will likely be 2 weeks from now.
Arlo, 3 weeks
