Life Changes

Isn't it crazy how we can barely remember, or even remember less and less, about our childhood as we get older? Life keeps changing...we graduate from high school and the years fly by with major life changes. Maybe we go to college, maybe not....meet a lover (or two, or three ..or more); get married, have babies, buy a house, sell a house.....in my case move around the country every 3-5 years.

Life just keeps changing and it feels as though as soon as I have adjusted to one change another comes along. When do we stop adjusting to changes and just live? I asked Matt this question and his answer was, "Never!" I guess he might be right. He asked me, "What do you qualify as a life change...something as gradual as entering puberty, or as sudden as moving or having a new baby?" I started to see his point.

My mother had a sever stroke on Monday night. When she entered the ICU on Tuesday morning she couldn't swallow, see with her right eye, use her right arm; she was on oxygen and she couldn't talk. Now, 3 days later, she has regained all of the functions lost except her speech and she still has some trouble swallowing very thin liquids. She can write, but her handwriting is not always legible and she has a hard time communicating...using only 3-4 words to convey an entire thought. My dad has been amazing and we're all figuring out how to deal with this life change.

On Monday I will fly to Maine, alone, to help readjust my mom and dad as my mom returns home from the hospital. My sister will join us and for the first time in 7 years we will be together as a family. I am scared and nervous to see my mom, though I know I will feel better once I am there. I am anxious to help...it is killing me to be so far away.
Matt's mom is flying in on Monday to help take care of Sam and Matt while I am away. I am so thankful I have such a supportive mother-in-law. It is amazing how family steps up when they need to.

The last few weeks have been so crazy with Sam and I just returning from 2 weeks in Maine, then this. I don't feel like myself at all and I have so little time to think about this pregnancy. I keep forgetting I am even pregnant...other than the lack of mobility and the ever constant kicking from within!
I am scared to be away from Sam for so long. Up until this trip, our longest separation has been 5 days...this will be about twice that. Having Matt's mom here makes me feel better about leaving, but I know I will miss he and Matt incredibly.

When I return from this trip I will be 6 months along and only 3, or so, months away from another life change.

Yoga and the ER

After 2 months or more of time away from my yoga class, tonight I returned...boy, what a change...or should I say, how has the boy changed me! I didn't do yoga when I was pregnant with Sam. It never felt right. This time I enjoyed it early on (before the nausea set in) and tonight it was amazing. I feel so centered and connected to my baby boy. Don't get me wrong, the poses were all a lot harder to do having to adjust for my growing belly. I still gained so much from the class and look forward to my next class next week. During Savasana (which was majorly adjusted with piles of wool blankets creating a sort of bed for me to lay against....wonderful) I reached down and put one hand on where the baby's heart might be, and my other hand on my heart. Immediately tears came to my eyes and I felt a strong connection. It was magical.

Yes, the ER. I have a feeling I will get to know the ER well over my years as a mother of two boys. On Thursday evening, as we were all relaxing and watching a movie, Sam decided to climb/jump from the coffee table to the futon sofa and fell (of course) and smashed his head and ear on the wooden arm. He didn't cry right away, but instead started shaking his head and breathing funny and I knew that something was wrong. It turns out he had split his ear at the top. It swelled and started to bleed immediately and we couldn't tell if he had split it through the cartilage or just through the flesh...thus the trip to the ER. It was horrible there, as Sam wouldn't hold still for the tech to clean it. He screamed and we had to pin him down. The tech wanted to wrap him in a sheet and hold his head down. I did not want that at all. So we took a break and a doctor came to put the steri strips on his ear. He had just ripped the flesh, fortunately, and did not need stitches. Anyway, 4 days later you can barely tell it was such a freak experience and it is practically healed! He talks more about the "owie" (blister) on his foot than the really big "owie" (I would think anyway) on his ear. Go figure.

20 Weeks

Finally, for those of you who have been wanting a belly shot...here it is!! I finally figured out my image upload problems...so you can also see an ultrasound image in "IT'S A BOY!". I am at 20 weeks in this photo and looking pretty cute...I think! I certainly haven't been feeling cute all of the time, but every now and then I do.
We have chosen a name....Arlo! I think it is final. It seems weird to still have 4+ months before he arrives and we know his gender and have a name...but, I like it this way...this time. I am glad we waited with Sam. We still can't decide on a middle name...maybe that will be the surprise...or maybe we'll all be surprised and an Isabel will pop out!
He moves a lot and I started having Braxton Hicks contrctions last week while travelling. They seem to be very frequent and strong if I am too active (like carrying a 32 lb. boy in a sling all day while travelling around airports). Over the last few days I haven't had as many.
We meet with the midwife again next Monday and we have found a doula! Her name is Sara and she is completing her needed birth hours for certification, so she isn't charging us anything. She is a good friend of mine and friend of other women I know and trust AND she has worked with our midwife... as well as had our midwofe catch both of her girls. She is also a certified massage therapist! BONUS! She's good too...having a 90 minute prenatal rub from her a month a go, I can atest.
I promise to be better about posting now that my image issues are over...I love having the visual aspect.