Tuesday, October 19, 2010

How to be Healing

I have read two and half books...which is a lot for me in three weeks time.

I have been reading the NY Times online and the occasional Times Sunday paper brought to me by my neighbor and friend, Dennis. When I was in art school in boston, I'd buy the Sunday Times, a cup of coffee and a bagel and sit and read the entire paper. It was like meditation to me then...it was like meditation for me all over again.

I spent many hours reading articles online. I'd be curious about something, look it up, and then read for hours. This is a pleasure I don't normally have so I really enjoyed it and I learned a lot.

My dear mother-in-law gave me a book she read recently titled, How to be Sick by Toni Bernhard. I won't spoil it; I haven't finished yet, so really I can't. The author went on a vacation with her husband to Paris and contracted the Parisian flu which has lasted over 10 years. She is mostly bedridden and house bound...and she practices buddhism. The book is about how buddhism has helped her actively accept her sickness.
While I am pretty sure that I will not have this illness for 10 years or more; I have been mostly in bed for three weeks with at least one more week to go (the longest I have ever had an illness). It has been a wonderful read for me...and I think it would be a wonderful read for anyone. The lessons are applicable to daily life, sick or healthy.

:: KNIT ::
I began knitting a dress for a friend's daughter in April of this year, just after the baby was born...and I am about to finish it. I am very happy about that.
Because knitting for hours makes my fore arms ache, I also decided to learn cross stitching. I am about half done with one pillowcase from a beginner's kit that Jane gave me.

I won't even list all the movies and tv shows I have watched...it is too long. But some of the really good ones were:
~ "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" a documentary about the band Wilco.
~ "Son of Rambow" (yes, it is spelled correctly)
~ "Babies"
~ "This American Life", Season One and Season Two - this series I REALLY enjoyed. It provoked thoughts beyond diapers and laundry and cooking...it made me ponder my childhood, my relationships and my life...

:: THINK ::
There were plenty of hours over the last three weeks where I was too nauseous to read or watch tv or even sit up in bed or sleep. I'd listen to music and think. Or lay in the hammock (when it was warmer) and watch the trees and think. I thought about the kids and being at home with them, what they will be like when they get older; my relationship with Matt and all we've experienced together and will still experience together; my family; my mother and I tried to remember talking with her; simplifying my life by removing things we don't need and tasks I don't need to take on; impermanence, nothing ever stays the same...one thought lead to another and I started describing this experience as "therapy in the bedroom".

:: WRITE ::
Most of my writing has been in the form of this blog and I honestly thought about writing a lot more than I actually have. I also wrote a lot of emails to friends and family and made some thank you cards and hand wrote all of them.

:: SLEEP ::
Sleep is so good. I wasn't getting enough sleep before I got sick...I haven't been getting enough sleep since I became pregnant with Sam in 2003. I am going to change that in my life. I need more sleep to stay healthy and so do you!


Tara said...

My sweet friend, I am so sorry you have been sick for so long! I have been thinking of you often.

And guess who "found" me today? I don't want to name names here, but I know you will be able to guess. ACK! Two years of avoidance all done in with one second of answering the phone without looking at caller ID. I took a bullet for you though, told her I had lost touch with you! Count your lucky stars!

luke and pamela said...

i don't wish you to be sick, but i am so glad you have had time to do all of these wonderful things, especially the *thinking*. i have been waking up super early lately and been resisting jumping out of bed to start the day, but instead taking just a few seconds to be. i never do that. i am going to check out this american life. it sounds really nice.

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