WHEW!

WHEW! That is the only word I can think of to express how I feel after the last month. I don't think I have even processed everything enough to write about it in depth. I feel like a different person...more adult, more like a "woman", more like the mother I imagine others to see me as and less like the mother I saw myself as (in a good way...just more grown up...seasoned).

Some highlights:

• I flew home to Maine to help my mom and dad adjust to thier lives after my mom's stroke. The stroke left her unable to speak and with difficulty communicating through words (though she is getting better at it). I was there almost 2 weeks, the longest I have been away from Sam.


• While there I went through a myriad of emotions ranging from fear and sadness so strong I vomited to guilt for leaving Sam to elation after hearing my mother say my name. The days crept by and the weeks flew by.


• I flew home the day after the terrorists were arrested in England...needless-to-say my travelling experience was far from relaxing and uneventful. 24 hours after I left Maine I arrived in Wenatchee to Sam running across the train station parking lot screaming "mama" in a half happy, half scared voice. His smile wiggled on the edge of frown. I am still not sure how I feel about being apart from him for so long. After Matt's mom and dad left this morning, Sam is still quite confused about who is supposed to be here and who is not.
  


• When I arrived at home major changes had occurred... a newly refinished deck, a new laundry line, a new toaster oven. All wonderful gifts, but my house felt very different. I am certainly not complaining about the changes, I just haven't settled in yet.


• I started teaching a one week art camp at our local coop preschool today. It is only an hour and a half 4 afternoons this week, but it feels like so much of my time is consumed by it. I am enjoying it so far, but am glad that I do not teach elementary art full time anymore!


• I am meeting with our Farmer's Market director tomorrow morning for an informal interview for the new market manager's position. This position will be 3, 1/2 days a week, May-October, and pays very well. I think it will be a great part-time job for me with some social time away from Sam and he will only need a sitter one morning a week. We'll see if I am hired, but I have a strong feeling I will be.

To those of you who have called and I have not called back...I will...I promise. I feel like I am going and going and running to stand still. Once I can catch my breath I will call and visit. I am thinking of you all.