Icing on the Cake

I have been trying to find some good in the middle of all of this saddness and here are some of the things I have thought of and try to remind myself of every minute...

1. I am fortunate to have this time with my mother. So many people loose loved one without notice. I am able to spend the last bits of time with my mom and reflect on our life together.

2. I look for things for Sam and I to do together to try to keep his daily life as normal as possible. Yesterday we went for a hike in the woods without the baby. It was really nice. I will always remember it. On Monday we'll begin a parent-toddler gymnastics class.

3. I am spending a lot of really great quality time with my sister and she is getting some great quality time with the boys.

However, the icing on the cake is that Arlo has developed colic. I am doing all the things you do to avoid colic....and it isn't as bad as it could be...but it is bad when it is on! And why now? My strength as a mother, as an emotional woman is being tested. I feel like yelling, "what more can be thrown at me?"

Today my mom told me she wanted me to shoot her in the head...that is what can be thrown at me.