Otis at 1 month I briefly mentioned this in a recent post, but as of about 10 days ago, Otis is weaned. The story is long and I am not sure I am ready to rewrite the whole thing now. I am feeling very torn by it all actually. It is hard for me to tell other people that he is weaned at 10 months and I wonder what they think. So many of the folks we know here, I feel, don't know me all that well beyond when we moved here and Arlo was 9 months then...my dedication to breastfeeding...I am still so submerged in the baby world with Otis being just 10 months. I see other mothers breastfeeding and I want to have those moments still. Like after Otis' naps, I want to nurse him. I want to nurse him first thing in the morning. My body still aches for those moments.
He is such a happy baby though and he seems to be very content with the milk he drinks (which is organic raw milk from a local dairy). In fact, he'll drink nealry 20 ounces of milk between 7 am and 12 noon. It is really amazing. He is sleeping all night and we rarely give him a bottle before 6 am, but during his waking hours, he packs it in!! We get 3 gallons of milk a week from the dairy and he consumes most of it!
I am mostly rambling about this. I wanted to document my feelings about it all and maybe I am just over-emotional about it because it is the end of an era! I will likely never breastfeed again. How can my child birthing years be done, when I feel like they just began?
5 comments:
Oh, Amanda, thanks for saying how this is for you. I know that I can relate with the feeling that an era ends before you are ready for it, and it hits me hard sometimes with one child, that something has passed and I wasn't ready. And also to see yourself as you ARE yet not know if you are being SEEN as you are...all of this is hard! Otis sounds like he is doing really well, and he is surely proving to be an absolute individual, mama! I'm so very blessed to know you, thank you for your wonderful insights, i don't think you are over-emotional at all, just very tuned in and real.
Your words are poignant, Amanda. I am long past birthing, breastfeeding, and parenting days. But the feelings come back clear as day now that I am a grandmother. I confess that watching my daughters-in-law breastfeeding makes me want to snatch that baby up and feed her myself. But of course I will give her back when it's diaper time. :) The simple truth is that every age and stage is unique and special. You are still at the beginning of it all, and you are wise enough to appreciate that it is an amazing journey.
(((HUGS))) my dear friend!
I know how you feel, every stage that Ronan passes is the last time... it is bittersweet. Especially when things end before you are ready.
We have so many parenting stages to look forward to though!
Otis. I love that name. A strong name that he will have to live up to.
I haven't nursed any of my kids past 10 months and some of them only nursed 4 months. There were different (sometimes complicated) reasons why each of them stopped nursing and I felt (still feel??) guilty about it at times. But every baby and every situation is different and so far, I can't tell the difference between a kid who was nursed 10 months versus a kid who was nursed 4. Just love them all, do your best and they'll be fine!
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