What to Write?

I find myself coming to my blog and wanting to write, but not knowing what to write about...then I ask myself, "why do I want to write if I can't think of anything to write about?", and, "Why can't I think about anything to write about...I am a busy woman with lots of really interesting thoughts, right?". Well, yeah, I have some pretty interesting thoughts in between the things I do everyday to keep me busy.

Mostly, lately I have been feeling depressed and mostly it is due to the weather. It has been very cloudy and foggy lately and warm enough that the snow has now melted, leaving behind lots of mud and grime.

Sam just woke up, so will continue this later...

Okay. it's later...like the next day!

So Matt and Andy (Matt's brother visiting from Pitttsburgh, PA) and I went skiing today and it was amazing. This is my 4th time up at the hill this year and by far the best skiing yet. The powder was great and weather nice. I loved it! Today helped very much with my foggy blues.

We have been recently addicted to the HBO series "Six Feet Under" and tonight we completed the seasons that are available on DVD. It is such an addicting show with characters that are deeply developed and messed up! Anyone else out there a "Six Feet Under" addict??

Just a little view of my weekly hiking spot.

Milk

As you all know (at least those of you who read regularly), we have been weaning Sam at a slow pace, pushing the night weaning and allowing him to pace the daytime weaning. Well, over the last few weeks the one nursing we had (first thing int he morning) has been dwindling. This morning Sam awoke at 6:30 a.m., early for him and patted me gently on my shoulder and said, "Mama" and then made the milk sign. I dutifully and happily lifted my shirt so he could nurse. He looked at me and latched on for a "gratis suck" and then said, "no, Mama" and pointed to the kitchen and made the milk sign again.

So, there you have it, I have been officially replaced by Silk's vanilla flavored soy milk! I do think that by the first day of 2006 we will be completely weaned. It is a little sad for me, but at the same time welcomed. I had hoped to tandem nurse a little, especially with Sam's one quick morning nursing. I think that I am not making much milk at all anymore. When he is thirsty he wants the soy milk and when he wants comfort he gets that in hugs and kisses.

It has been just over 3 months since we first began the night-time weaning.

Fiber

Now that we have fiber internet I spend way too much time surfing! Sometimes I just want to surf and don't know where to go, but somehow manage to spend hours looking at stuff. I know there are others out there just like me. I have also found this hi-speed surfing conducive to updating our web page and blogging (especially now that I know how to add photos!).

So we have decided to cut Sam's naps to an hour instead of 2+. He is not wanting to go to sleep at night even though he is tired and once he's asleep he sleeps great...it is just getting him to go down. It has been taking an hour (or more sometimes) to get him to sleep! UGH! So i need to spend less time surfing now and more time doing stuff as an hour's worth of nap goes quickly for a stay-at-home mom!

Travels

It seems as if since we had Sam, we have been taking a trip to one end of the country or the other every 4-8 weeks. I am tired! We just returned from a trip Kansas for Matt's Ph.D. graduation ceremony. It was a wonderful trip that allowed closure for both Matt and I to our 4 very hard years in Kansas. We also were able to spend some amazing time with friends that we have realized, since leaving, we love so, so much.

We stayed with my dear friend Tara and her family. I love Tara so much. It seems that she and I are so often onthe smae page of life and if I ever feel that I need to talk to someone with common threads, she is the one I turn to. She just completed her doula training and is getting busy with clients fast. Her outlook on life is so inspiring and it is important to me that my dear friends are inspiring. We talked for hours in to the nights (I should say mornings...like 3:30 a.m.) and I LOVED it! Seeing her kids so grown up and playing with Sam was so very important.

I also visited with another dear friend, Laura and her family, along with most of the moms I grew to love and need while I lived in Manhattan. Returning to Wenatchee was sad, but also so nice.

We hosted a Holiday party on Saturday night and I came down with a nasty cold early last week....so needless to say, the drinking I did Saturday night put me under the table and I am feeling it still today!

Sam did well travelling as he has grown accustomed to it...though he was quite tired too as you can see from this photo taken the day after we returned on our grocery outing! We all need to rest now before Santa arrives this weekend.

Let It Snow!

Okay, so after 5 years in Montana, a state with lots and lots of snow in the winter; I move to Kansas, a state with little snow in the winter (at least where I was). And now after 4 years in Kansas I am here in Washington....and do we have snow baby!?! Over the last week we have accumulated about a foot with 6-8 more inches coming tonight! I love it!! I bought a ski pass and the ski hill opens on Saturday...I am so excited!

However, this is my first year with a toddler and snow. I forgot what a hassle it is to get myself bundled up for winter weather, let alone, squirmy little Sam, all bundled in his snowsuit and mittens and hat and boots...then get us out the door...whew!

Sam has been having so much fun in the snow though. We have been sledding 3 times since we returned from CA and we also shoveled the driveway together.

I welcome the snow.It puts me in a great Christmas spirit and I love the snow sports (I have snowshoeing plans for tomorrow and ski plans for Sunday!).

Leaving Sam

Last Saturday Sam and I flew to Davis, CA to visit Matt's mom and dad and sister. We are still here. Eventually this week all of the family will arrive from everywhere for Thanksgiving.

My mother-in-law, Pat, had agreed to watch Sam for me overnight so I could go to San Francisco to visit a dear friend from high school. So Yesterday morning I took a train into SF and spent the night there away from my baby. On the train ride I sat with a wonderful woman and mother of 2 and we talked about our babies and birth stories (she is a midwife in training) and it was great. Once I arrived in SF, Jamie, my friend, kept me very busy and I hardly thought of Sam. When bedtime rolled around I was in such a wonderful haze from wine and friends and other things that I fell asleep hard and didn't even wonder about my sweet boy.

This morning I awoke with a startle, sat up in bed and realized that it was 7:30, the exact time Sam wakes up every morning! I quickly rolled over and went back to sleep. I didn't get up until almost 10 am! I did call and check in and Pat said that Sam slept all night!! I knew things would go well.

Then today Jamie and I went shopping and had sushi for lunch and by 5pm I was back on a train for Davis. It was a wonderful 2 days away and I will never forget it!

When I walked in to the house in Davis I could here my baby playing and I called his name...he turned to me and smiled a little, then went right back to what he was doing! I was a little sad, but I knew that meant that he was so comfortable in his place that he didn't need to make my return a big deal. He knew I would come back and he knows I am there for him if he needs me.

It was the best scenario for a first night away and what a wonderful first night away it was...

Bedtime

I am expecting that this entry will ring true for some of you...especially those AP parents out there...

So this is our bedtime ritual:

6:30ish p.m.
Dinner as a family, usually quite nice until Sam bats his hands back and forth making his "all done" sign and we let him out of his booster seat, at which point he either
A)Runs around and eventually ends up on my lap sticking his fingers in my dinner (which I have yet to eat because I was getting up and down making sure everbody had everything they needed) or
B)Matt plays with him in the living room so I can finish undisturbed(quite nice as long as I have a newspaper to read).

7:30ish p.m.
Bath...either Matt gives him a bath or I do...if you give the bath the other puts to sleep, if you do not bathe, you clean the kitchen...most nights I am ready for a break and I opt for the cleaning. Sometimes a bath is nice though and I enjoy playing with Sam while he's in the tub.

8:00ish p.m.
Books/Banana in Sam's room...Sam is now conditioned to go right into his bedroom after his bath for story time. This is my favorite part of the bedtime routine. Both Matt and I are there and we read stories to Sam either in his bed on all snuggled in his little tent. Sam loves the books and he will bring them to you until you can't see straight anymore. He also eats a banana (or most of one anyway) at this time. We have found it helps him to sleep better. He wants it every night, too...if we forget he runs into the kitchen and points at the fruit bowl!

8:30ish p.m.
Sleepy time...so here is where it gets interesting. Now that there is no nursing involved in out nightime routine, either Matt or I can put Sam to sleep. Some nights he is very picky and only wants me to do it and I usually honor that, but most nights he is fine with either of us or both of us. There are two ways this can go from here:

1. Me putting Sam to sleep...I lay down with Sam, lights out, bear in arms and blankets wrapped and tucked tight...then I sing my version of "Lullaby and Goodnight" once, then hum it once and if it is a good night, he'll be asleep. If it is a bad night, he will play with my nose and eyes and hair; try to pick my nose; stick his hands up my shirt, down my shirt, in my sleeve; play with my hair, nose, cheek, his nose, hair, cheek (yes, these are his favorites),;shake his head back and forth OR bump it against the wall...anything to keep himslef awake. At some point I go nuts and leave and Matt takes over OR I eventually fall asleep and wake up an hour later and sneak out.

2. Matt putting Sam to sleep...when Sam seems sleepy I give him lots of kisses and hug him and tuck him in then leave the room. I might hear a little cry, but usually nothing. Then I go check my email; post on my blog; fold laundry; read stuff online; paint the dining room trim (or whatever else I am painting at the moment); stuff diapers; read the newspaper and drink tea; make a fire in the fireplace; sit in the dark on the couch upstairs and look at our beautiful night view....I like it when Matt puts Sam to sleep!

So we've decided that Sam will eventually need to learn how to put himself to sleep. How do we teach him that at this point and still do it gently??