I thought that as Sam got older parenting would get easier for a number of reasons...
- He'd be older and more mature, independent, and self-motivated.
- We'd have better communication with words and eventually be able to reason with one another.
- Our relationship would have time to develop and settle.
All of these things have happened to a certain level and yet parenting has become harder. I still love being a parent and look forward to having another child; however, I am more scared now about parenting than I was before we had Sam!
Today I had a tough conversation with a friend about Sam's recent behaviour. Sam has been playing more rough with other kids (not hitting or biting, but just rough play). He is an energetic boy and not all of the other kids in our playgroup are as energetic as he is. He has definitely played in ways that are undesirable and I feel that I have interacted with him ways that will deter these behaviours as he listens, interprets, and learns how to interact with other kids. My friend told me that she no longer wants her son to play with Sam outside of playgroups and this hurt my feelings. I understand her perspective and respect it. However, it was the manner in which she communicated her feelings. Instead of just talking to me about it, she gave me the cold shoulder and when I sensed her distance and asked about it, only then did she express her feelings about Sam's behaviour.
The whole conversation has been haunting me today for a few reasons and I can't decide if it is because I am having sincere feelings about it or if it is because I started my period today and everything seems dramatic! I have talked with 3 good friends on the phone and I feel better after hearing different perspectives, but am still dwelling and sulking and weeping randomly. Sound like my hormones mostly, now that I reflect on my writings. One more good reason to continue the blog!