Arlo's 4th Birthday

While stuck in bed today (yes, I am sick again...more on that later), I began looking on Etsy at invitations for Arlo's 4th birthday party. He wants to have a "superhero" theme and have all the kids wear capes. I feel like we've done this before, but Arlo LOVES capes.

I can't argue. Capes are cool.

After looking at the 50th card that made me think, "I can do that!"....

I did that.

With inspiration from my artsy friend Melissa, a sharpie marker, a pair of scissors, an old comic book that was falling apart, a glue stick and a blue ink pen;

I made ten very cute birthday invitations.

This one turned out a little dark...I am not sure I will actually use it...but, I like it.


This one might be my favorite.

I can't wait for Arlo to see them tonight.

Being Thankful

I saw this home school project on a waldorf website and loved the message....then a friend in Maine made one with her home schooled kids and I decided to make one with our boys.

Each day we will make a leaf, write something we are thankful for on the leaf and then add it to the tree.
Any visitors we have will be welcome to add a leaf as well.

By Thanksgiving the tree should be full.
Tonight Arlo was thankful for our neighbor Dennis. Otis was thankful for "Arlo" (brothers). Matt was thankful for his once-a-week karate evening with the boys and Sam was thankful for:
I was so proud.

Big Boy

It is pretty obvious what Otis wants these days and it most definitely has everything to do with being a big boy. So...after falling off his changing table last week and then climbing into Arlo's bed at naptime we decided it was time to make the move to a big boy bed. He's made the transition with grace.
His vocabulary list includes:

:: Mama
:: Dada
:: Arlo (which means both "Arlo" and "brother)
:: dog dog
:: ow ow
:: Baba (bottle)
:: all done
:: down
:: no
:: mine
:: upa (up)
:: Star Wars
:: chicken
:: thank you
:: please
:: ire (fire)
:: hot

Chopped, Split and Stacked

When my sister and I were very young our family mostly heated with wood in a large iron wood stove my Dad built. He drew a picture of our house on the door of the stove and I remember looking at the picture and picking out my bedroom window in the drawing.

My Dad would buy or trade for the winter wood and eventually it would be delivered to our house in a large pile of unsplit chunks. We would climb all over the pile and inevitably one of us would end up bleeding or with a nasty splinter! As we grew older we would help each fall by tossing the wood into the house cellar to stack, into the shed to stack or by stacking the wood. Stacking wood was a job that I remember dreading, but now find the smells and sounds of it very comforting.

It was always a family affair and usually that meant friends of my folks and their kids. The more people helping, the faster the job would get done. Now I realize, too, that extra hands means the kids are being watched with extra eyes. Chopping and splitting wood can be dangerous business.

We had a dead Ash tree removed from our front yard last month and over the last two weekends Matt (with help from friends of all ages) chopped, split and stacked the wood.

With the winter-like temperatures (30's), I haven't been going outside too much, a couple days ago Sam, Otis and I bundled up and walked out to look at the woodpile (and I wanted to smell the woodpile). I have been watching the black squirrels climb all over it and I had to see what all the fuss was about.
These strange seed pods fall from our Osage Orange trees which line the west side of our homestead creating a living fence. Every fall we pick up hundreds of the seeds...and the squirrels love to eat them.
Sam came down with a strange virus this week involving a body rash running from his head to his toes. His energy levels decreased (some) and he developed really red patches on his eye lids and under his eyes. Our family doctor recommended keeping him home from school for two days to rest...so we did...and it was really wonderful.
Just beyond the woodpile sits our new compost pile. Matt did lots of reading on home made rapid composters and finally settled on this model made of found pallets and reused PVC pipe. He (and his helpers) spent the better part of two weekends assembling and filling this. We've all enjoyed watching the top of the pile sink and feeling the warm air escaping through the pipes! Science everywhere!
Matt has been working like a horse this fall. Since the end of September he has:
:: butchered 31 broiler hens
:: harvested copious amounts of garden produce, including blue corn and the black beans
:: repaired a failing chicken fence
:: made a variety of house repairs including hanging some coat hooks for me
:: removed an old toilet, moved one working toilet to a new bathroom, and installed a brand new dual flush toilet
:: built and filled the composter
:: chopped, split and stacked the wood from the ash tree

I love him.

Halloween

"Darth Maul"

Arlo's second choice: "Harry Potter"

choice 1: "Dark" Vader

this is a lovely girl at Arlo's school...so sweet...

all three boys have now worn this costume...time to retire the dragonfly...

Just Tired

How to be Healing

::READ::

I have read two and half books...which is a lot for me in three weeks time.

I have been reading the NY Times online and the occasional Times Sunday paper brought to me by my neighbor and friend, Dennis. When I was in art school in boston, I'd buy the Sunday Times, a cup of coffee and a bagel and sit and read the entire paper. It was like meditation to me then...it was like meditation for me all over again.

I spent many hours reading articles online. I'd be curious about something, look it up, and then read for hours. This is a pleasure I don't normally have so I really enjoyed it and I learned a lot.

My dear mother-in-law gave me a book she read recently titled, How to be Sick by Toni Bernhard. I won't spoil it; I haven't finished yet, so really I can't. The author went on a vacation with her husband to Paris and contracted the Parisian flu which has lasted over 10 years. She is mostly bedridden and house bound...and she practices buddhism. The book is about how buddhism has helped her actively accept her sickness.

While I am pretty sure that I will not have this illness for 10 years or more; I have been mostly in bed for three weeks with at least one more week to go (the longest I have ever had an illness). It has been a wonderful read for me...and I think it would be a wonderful read for anyone. The lessons are applicable to daily life, sick or healthy.

:: KNIT ::

I began knitting a dress for a friend's daughter in April of this year, just after the baby was born...and I am about to finish it. I am very happy about that.

Because knitting for hours makes my fore arms ache, I also decided to learn cross stitching. I am about half done with one pillowcase from a beginner's kit that Jane gave me.

:: WATCH MOVIES ::

I won't even list all the movies and tv shows I have watched...it is too long. But some of the really good ones were:

~ "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart" a documentary about the band Wilco.

~ "Son of Rambow" (yes, it is spelled correctly)

~ "Babies"

~ "This American Life", Season One and Season Two - this series I REALLY enjoyed. It provoked thoughts beyond diapers and laundry and cooking...it made me ponder my childhood, my relationships and my life...

:: THINK ::

There were plenty of hours over the last three weeks where I was too nauseous to read or watch tv or even sit up in bed or sleep. I'd listen to music and think. Or lay in the hammock (when it was warmer) and watch the trees and think. I thought about the kids and being at home with them, what they will be like when they get older; my relationship with Matt and all we've experienced together and will still experience together; my family; my mother and I tried to remember talking with her; simplifying my life by removing things we don't need and tasks I don't need to take on; impermanence, nothing ever stays the same...one thought lead to another and I started describing this experience as "therapy in the bedroom".

:: WRITE ::

Most of my writing has been in the form of this blog and I honestly thought about writing a lot more than I actually have. I also wrote a lot of emails to friends and family and made some thank you cards and hand wrote all of them.

:: SLEEP ::

Sleep is so good. I wasn't getting enough sleep before I got sick...I haven't been getting enough sleep since I became pregnant with Sam in 2003. I am going to change that in my life. I need more sleep to stay healthy and so do you!

The Two Sickies

I've been spending a lot of time this weekend watching movies with the boys...all three of us, just Sam and I, and just Arlo and I. We joined Netflix for the free trial month and suddenly we have copious amounts of movies and television available on my laptop, right in my bed. We've watched The Princess and the Frog, The Incredible Mr. Limpet, and this morning we attempted, The Meteor Man. "Attempted" because we only made it about 2/3 of the way through and skipped most of that due to violence. It was rated PG, but filmed in 1993. I think that 1993's standards and standards today have changed! Arlo was in tears when the superhero, "The Meteor Man", received a sucker punch in the face. We immediately switched to Flipper, the T.V. series from 1964.

The boys have been having a hard time with me in bed all day and night. They are resilient guys, but it has been two weeks now, with only a few days in the middle where I was up and about. Sam's face is finally healing, but Arlo's still looks terrible and he talks about it hurting. We're doing what we can, but Hand, Foot, and Mouth is a terrible virus.

Matt's dad, Jim, arrived on Friday night for the second round of cross-country Grieshop family -tag-team nursing. He has so far helped Matt throw out an old toilet, install a new toilet and move one toilet from one bathroom to another. We once again have established "toilet order". Whew.

Things are moving at a different pace here and it is weird being an observer in my own home. I am so used to being an active member, moving around, interacting, making decisions and getting things done. Physically, it is necessary, but giving all of that up is a great mental challenge for me.

Slow and steady...patience...acceptance....letting go.

Summer Adventures: Installment Four: Our Korean Friends

We were approached by an MSU organization that offers the final course in an ESL program for Korean school teachers to be a host family for a weekend in July...and this is how we met Alex and Song. Both fathers of boys in Korea, they fit right in to our family and farm.

The program director assured us that they were interested in learning about a "normal American family" and to do what we'd normally do on a weekend. So we did! We spent one day in the garden they both seemed to really enjoy it.

We also took a drive to Fennville and picked organic blueberries at Pleasant Hill Farm (Matt works with these farmers..they are a wonderful couple), saw Lake Michigan and ate some Korean food at a local restaurant. Both Song and Alex assured us it was very authentic food and my first time! It was delicious. The boys even enjoyed eating all but the very spicy things.

Being a host family was a new experience for us. We've wanted to share our space and large home with other families and this was the perfect way to do it. We all learned so much about Korea (they calculate age different there!) and the children made some new friends. It was hard to say goodbye to Alex and Song...but, we'll be hosting again next year!

Summer Adventures: Installment Three: Camping with the Traven Family

Jeff, Michelle, Meera and Adelina are some of our very best friends here in Michigan. The four of them, also transplants from across the country (except Addie, she was born here and I was there the night she came!) are such a sweet and wonderful family. Michelle is a real friend to me. I can speak so honestly with her and know that she'll be understanding and open to what I am thinking. We feel very comfortable with all of them and our children love one another! Truly a treasure to have.

Just because we love each other as families, doesn't mean that spending 3 days together camping is a good idea...except that it was!! We had such a fantastic time! We stuck close to home and camped at Sleepy Hollow State Park. This was our first time Otis camping and with all 9 of us, we felt like it would be safer....we realized how smart we were when I forgot to bring COFFEE and drove home the next morning to get some!

Lots of fishing and eating (we made fish tacos from our catch), games, swimming, napping, camp fires, music, laughing, running, washing dishes in a bucket....it was a great weekend of family time, community bonding. We hope to do it again next year!

Summer Adventures: Installment Two: Annual Fourth of July Party

Our second adventure of the summer came one week after we returned from Maine...our 3rd annual 4th of July Party. We had morefamilies attend this year than the other two and we had five families camp out and enjoy a really sweet brunch the next day. The sparklers were a big hit along with some glow bracelets. The food was fantastic and we had music with singing this year! We also have families that put this event on their calendars a year in advance (we do too) and it means so much to us to have this special gathering with our family! We had another set of families arrive the next day just for the brunch and our last visitors left at 5 p.m. It was a 24 hour party and we loved every minute!

Summer Adventures: Installment One: Returning Home

The boys, Lindsey (our babysitter and friend) and I drove to Maine (via Niagara Falls, ON) to visit my Dad and help him sort through some of my mom's things. We ended up doing more vacationing than sorting, but I managed to help him some. Lindsey had never been to Maine or through Canada, so it was quite an adventure...the two of us with three wild kids...14 days of traveling all together...5 of them spent on the road! We both needed a vacation from our vacation.

Delicate Little Flower

This afternoon as I laid in bed, my dear friend Jane, said in a sweet voice as she walked away, "goodbye my delicate little flower friend". I have never thought of myself that way, but in the last few weeks I have certainly felt that way.

Almost two weeks ago I was diagnosed with pneumonia. It came on very quickly and grew from a mild cold to serious ick within 24 hours. Matt's mom, Pat, flew all the way from California to help us for a week and I had a solid chance to rest in bed, in the hammock in the sun...wherever I needed to be. She left on Monday and last night I ended up in the emergency room with a serious relapse. After five hours of IV antibiotics, fluids and some wicked pain medication, they sent me home with a bag of drugs and instructions to remain in bed forever. Not forever, but it is beginning to feel like it.

I am so fortunate to have such supportive family. Pat's visit here last week was like magic. She arrived at 7:30 p.m., dropped her bags and had kids in the bath before I could say "thank you". While she was here she nursed me, nursed the kids (Sam and Arlo had Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease, and Otis had a nasty weeping ear infection), helped Matt butcher and process 12 of our broiler chickens, cooked and baked and fed us really well, did copious amounts of laundry and house cleaning....the list goes on and on. She seamlessly walked into our home and took over my job and did it better than I do! It was fantastic. The boys loved having her here, because, you know what else is in the repertoire of a grandma...reading books for hours. That make all three of my sweeties happy as can be. Thank you so much Pat. We love you!

Pat returned home to her life and here I am in bed again, worse off than before, and

we've turned to our community of friends for help. I posted a request on facebook for any info on a nanny and within an hour I had nanny contacts, a food train set-up, babysitting offers....I am truly blessed.

Jane, one of my dear closest friends here and pictured to the right, is here today helping with Otis and taking care of me. She and her family are our family here. She has come over to our house in response to late night calls because of illness, birth, flat tires, house fires...more emergencies than I'd like to admit to. I just can't thank her enough.

I am not forgetting my dear husband, who has taken on my job and his in between the extra help! Both our jobs are more than one person can handle, so for him to do both is pretty amazing. He is being quite militant with this relapse and only letting me out of bed for bathroom visits. I am so lucky to have his support. I know how scared he was in the hospital on Tuesday night. It can't be easy to watch your wife looking like she is dying...and he has had to do that twice in our marriage now. I love him so much.

Hopefully after I meet with my new pulmonologist in a couple weeks, we'll have a better understanding as to why I keep getting so sick. I was told that after my lung surgery two years ago, I wouldn't have anymore problems with this...I'd like to be thought of as a strong bunch of glowing flowers, not a delicate little flower!

The flower image above is borrowed from here.

Birthday

Today is my birthday. For some reason I expected the universe to recognize that and make my day smooth and seamless. As I sit here trying to obtain some sense of calm, I am listening to my three boys, wild from our day of no structure and frantic racing around town, crash toys and scream from tiredness in the other room.

We are supposed to be leaving in 15 minutes to meet friends and family at a chinese restaurant for a celebratory dinner. Something tells me this dinner may be very chaotic...chiming right in with the rest of my day.

Since little (there have been a few very sweet moments) has brought me pleasure today, I attempted to gain some peace and I saw this blog via another friend's lovely blog that so frequently brings me solace. Seeing the travel journal of a newly wed couple only made my life feel so much more hectic...I was jealous. Jealous of seemingly unending and uninterrupted time with a spouse; a photographic career of epic proportions and talent and jealous of the quiet. I don't like feeling jealous.

I have decided that despite the fact that today is the day I arrived in to this world 33 years ago; I will attempt to find my joy in the future of the year ahead tomorrow and the next day....
...because it doesn't really matter what day you were born. Life can be celebrated everyday.