Sign Language and Other Stuff

In the last week Sam's signing vocabulary has grown! He now knows: "milk", "all done", "bye-bye/hi", "hot", "light", "please", "dog", "banana", "I want" and we invented a sign for "popsicle"! He creates sentences now with 2-3 signs in a row! It is amazing! He is trying to form spoken words, but we are just now getting to a point where we are communicating so freely...words aren't always needed. He still talks though! It is never quiet in this house. I have been missing my Kansas women so incredibly lately...and Sam has been missing his pals...we've been too reclusive. So, I decided since I have not found the playgroup I want, I am going to create one! I invited a large group of women and babes for a playgroup on Wednesday and I hope to create a regular weekly playgroup. A few of the moms I spoke with today seemed really into it, so things are looking good. While on vacation in Maine I decided I needed to become involved with something in the community that was not parenting related...so I am going to begin volunteering for the Farmer's Market Organization group. There is a fund raising event this Friday called the Cornucopia Gala and I will help decorate the winery (with Sam on my back!). Then on Friday evening, Matt and I will attend the event! I can't wait! I am so excited to meet some new people and help out our Farmer's Market! P.S. The weaning is going well.

Weaning

A few years ago I visited a very close girlfriend of mine in Colorado. She had just weaned her 18 month old son and was rearing to go out with me and live it up for a night. I remember thinking about weaning and nursing and how it all seemed so far away from me then. That was in June of 2002...here we are just over 3 years later and I am in the middle of weaning. I firmly believe in respecting the needs of your children and honoring the ever-important parent-child attachment bond. I never thought I would actively wean Sam. I imagined him weaning himself in this beautiful, idyllic fantasy. Of course, that was all before the months of nipple twisting and public boobie snuggling. There was no public boobie snuggling in my fantasy! So here we are actively weaning. Matt has been great. He puts Sam to sleep at night with no fuss from Sam and he has been taking night wakings successfully too! So where does this leave me? I feel as though I am not needed in that department anymore...a good feeling and a hollow feeling. I feel like I am being used for my boobies, not the milk, the boobies! Ugh. I can comfort Sam to sleep with little songs and gentle touches... I miss nursing even though we are not completely weaned, I miss the long nursings where Sam would take in the fantastic milk that all of us mothers make; where I would feel the let down and the rush of Prolactin after...I miss that. I haven't had that with Sam for a long time. I know it is time to wean. I look forward to being done. I can't wait to comfort Sam with only little songs and gentle touches...no boobie snuggling.

Travels

Last Wednesday (Sept. 14th) Matt flew out of Seattle to Michigan for work and Sam and I stayed in Seattle to explore! It was great fun as we had 3 days to run around the city. We went to the Woodland Zoo, the Public Market (we watched the guys throw the fish!), up the Space Needle and had excellent sushi (Sam had the veggie roll, but LOVED IT). We also explored IKEA and Trader Joe's Natural Food store! I really should write an entire separate entry about IKEA; what an amazing place!

On Saturday the 17th, we flew out of Seattle for Maine, where we are now. I had forgotten how amazing it is here. The weather has been nice and we've been exploring. We took a tour of Pantheon Guitars, the makers of Beaujois Guitars. Matt really loved that. It was quite interesting and we even managed to keep Sam entertained (it helped when I finally got him settled in the sling and then slipped behind the packing counter and nursed him!).

We spent today in Camden walking around and had lunch at Cappy's Restaurant, a true Maine find and a great place to have some clam chowdah! Matt and I will sneak off to a movie tonight, leaving the grandparents to babysit!

A hike tomorrow and the Common Ground Fair (a fair to celebrate local and organic farming) on Friday...can't wait for that! Back to WA on Saturday...a quick trip.

It is hard to return home after you have left. I love being here and miss it and feel old and young and sad and happy...does that ever change? I wonder how Matt sees this place...I wish I could see it through his eyes for a day...or Sam's eyes.

Returning to Wenatchee will be hard and easy. I am looking forward to being in our new house with nowhere to be for a while...but I will miss the great companionship of my parents and the amazing Maine coast, the fog in the evening, the misty wet fields, the wildflowers and salty air. A part of me still belongs here.

Chelan County Fair

On Saturday we took Sam and met some friends at the Chelan County Fair. It was great country fun! As soon as we walked onto the fair grounds the familiar smells of funnel cake grease and cow poo came wafting our way rushing back memories of adolescence. I remember getting all dressed up in new school clothes to meet my girlfriends at the fair hoping to see my latest crush, eat lots of fried food and go on the GRAVITRON or the like. Sam had a great time petting the goats and sheep and pigs and cows. He even did his best to make rooster sounds over and over again. We ate lots of greasy food, listened to a bluegrass band from Oregon, and rode on the merry-go-round. Sam was, at first, scared then very excited and then sad it was over. Quite a myriad of emotions for a 5 minute time span...as per usual in the life of a toddler. We stopped at all the little goody stands and played with the cheesy toys and found a great little Guatemalan stand with knit finger puppets. Sam was quite fond of the giraffe and we bought it for him. All in all we had one pooped out little tropper who crashed on the way home with powdered sugar still dusting his cheeks.

Ordinary Day

I unpacked some more boxes yesterday morning in preparation for a friend coming to visit from Seattle. The guest room is pretty much ready now. In the process of unpacking I found Sam's baby book and album and realized how far behind I am! So this morning after getting Sam to sleep I tried to catch up. One of the pages in his baby book asked me to describe an ordinary day for us. It was so hard! What is ordinary? Common? Lately we've had a crazy routine and Sam has been napping in the morning instead of the afternoon; all of our errands and fun stuff happen after lunch instead of before; we rarely play with other babes; the t.v. is on more than I'd like (I think I've seen "SHREK" 6 times in the last 3 days!)...is this normal? I remember life in Kansas seemed so much more routine and ordinary than life here. Perhaps we are still in the wake of moving. I hope the water calms soon. I have decided to begin the weaning process once we return from our trip to Maine on the 24th. For a while now I have been unhappy with nursing and Sam isn't really "nursing" anymore. He is playing or nuzzling or he sucks for 10 seconds then runs away. I know this is common "toddler nursing", but it is driving me crazy! I don't think I am cut out for nursing a toddler. I had originally wanted to allow him to wean himself, but I am becoming miserable and I never look forward to nursing; it is a chore and it is happening more frequently. I know with the move and all the changes Sam needs the comfort, and I feel that I have respected that. It will be a slow and gentle wean, but a definite one.

Moved and Lovin' It!

The moving went fairly easy over the weekend. Actually I dreaded it so much that I was grumpy for the first few hours, but after our first major load was done and I could see progress, I perked up. Our new neighbors helped carry our things up all our stairs. They are an amazing family, a divorced mom and 3 kids. Very friendly, very compassionate and just great people to be around. So, all of our things are here and we are slowly getting unpacked and it feels so good. I managed to paint the kitchen and two bedrooms last week, which has definitely made the move much easier. Now the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom are unpacked, Sam's room is mostly there and we're getting closer on our bedroom. There just isn't enough nap time! I hosted a playgroup today, even though we're still swimming in boxes. It was great fun, but what a difference from playgroups back in Kansas. The moms came around 10 am and only 2 stayed for a while, but by noon, everyone was gone! Only 2 hours of playing! Man, back in KS we'd have day long playgroups and they were great!! I did enjoy myself and so did Sam. He took a great nap this afternoon and allowed me to unpack more. After nap time we played in the yard and I trimmed up some rose bushes and we went up and down all of our stairs. Sam loves the stairs and loves climbing...and he is quite good too. We finally went inside for a while and I was reading while he played. He brought his baby to me and I pretended to nurse the baby, asking him if it was okay if I shared the milk with the baby. He laughed and thought it was great to see me nursing his baby. I burped the baby and handed it back to him telling him that the baby was full and was ready to play. He handed the baby back to me and said in actual words, "Mama, baby want..." and then he signed "more" and then "milk"! I couldn't believe it! So I nursed the baby some more and we played this game for a while, going back and forth. He amazes me! Tomorrow I am taking the neighbors kids and Sam to the Farmer's Market and it should be great fun!

Small Hands

We co-slept with Sam until he was about 6 months, when we began putting him to sleep in his room on a futon mattress on the floor. At some point in the night he would move into our bed, often before midnight, but if it was a good night, not until 2 or 3 a.m. The hour at which he moved into our bed gradually grew later and later into the morning hours. Some nights were better than others and some night he was never been in his bed, or I was never in my bed. In the last month (since the teething has seized), Sam has been waking only once at night and often NEVER moving into our bed. He has recently even slept all night without waking. Last night Matt put Sam to bed (a new and much needed development in our night time parenting) at 9:30 p.m. and he slept until 12:30 a.m. when I nursed him back to sleep in his bed. I returned to my bed thinking that he may sleep until morning. At 6:45 a.m. he woke and I brought him into bed with me. Matt has been going to work very early at this new job and often after 5 a.m. I have the bed to myself, so Sam was more than welcome this morning. I nursed him and after he lay there with his back to me and his little arm twisted around so his small hands could stroke my face and arm...just as reassurance that I was still there as he fell asleep. I LOVE these mornings! I love his small hands playing with my hair and touching my arms and face. I know I these days are limited and he will grow and eventually he won't be in our bed in the early morning hours. I will haver fewer and fewer moments like those I had this morning. I think too, that had we not chosen to co-sleep I would have never had these moments. This is a thank you to those moms in Manhattan, KS who showed me that attachment parenting and co-sleeping are wonderful ways to live, to nurture and to love your children. Your support has been immeasurable. For a great article on Attachment Parenting visit: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/ap-frame-of-mind.html