Waiting...But Not Just Waiting

We have been back from CA for a week now. The market has ended and the waiting begins. On Saturday I will be 37 weeks and from that point on I can go into labor and have the baby at home until December 16, when I will be 42 weeks and will then be transferred to the hospital. I am not worried about that happening at all. I have the most confidence in my body and in nature and I know this little guy will come when he is ready.

So what have I been doing to keep busy while I wait?

• cleaning the house...not just surface cleaning or scrubbing, but organizing...it feels good.
• playing with Sam as much as I can while we are still a "one child" family.
• washing baby everything!
• getting the crib together, the dresser ready, the diapers organized...etc.
• buying the appropriate home birth supplies, washing, sterilizing and storing them.
• finishing my Christmas shopping.
• printing labels for birth announcements and Christmas cards and labeling and stamping envelopes.
• wrapping Christmas gifts and getting boxes ready to be shipped, so when the time comes anyone can drop them off at the P.O.
• knitting and sitting with Sam and lots of movies.
• baking pies and freezing them for Thanksgiving.
• enjoying the fabulous Fall weather and tree colors.
  

Of course this list is a "still in progress" list that is not complete, but it will be within the next few weeks. I don't feel rushed, but I am glad that I have things to do while I wait.

Sam was a viking for Halloween! We felt that it suited his personality in the sweetest way. It was a fun collaborative project to make the costume. Matt's mom helped and provided the great fur fabric. He had a blast running around in it, growling and being cute. We took a Halloween train ride with our friends Stacy and Jaadyn and then walked down one cul-de-sac near our house for trick-or-treating. It was more than enough for all of us! The amount of candy was incredible for 10 houses and I was pooped by the end of the walk. Sam stayed true to his Viking theme and charged into every home yelling "more candy please!" everytime a door was opened! He finally got the idea by the end that it was much more polite to stay on the door step and say "Thank you!" The folks were very understanding and everyone loved his little costume.

California

We left Wenatchee on Saturday afternoon, spent Sat. night in Redmond, OR, tried to see Crater Lake on Sunday morning, but couldn't because of fog, cleaned up Sam's puke after a bit of carsickness...and eventually rolled into Davis yesterday evening around 7 p.m. It feels very good to be here as an entire family. Matt is with us and with NO work to do, we are enjoying each others' company. A nice stroll to the park with Jake, the elderly family dog, a great mexican lunch, Sam napping....we are having a nice day.

No real plans to speak of other than a day trip to San Francisco and I will meet up with the Davis Farmer's Market manager at some point to talk about market things....just a nice slow visit. Perhaps a trip to the Sacramento Zoo will be worked in...we'll see!

Realization

I am not sure if Sam really understands all our talk about "baby"...but today he had a small realization. While we were laying down for a nap the baby started kicking me and I asked Sam if he wanted to feel the baby kick. He said, "baby kick?" and put his hand on my tummy and then little Arlo gave a HUGE kick and turn and Sam perked up and smiled and squealed and said, "baby kick!" It was so great. I felt as if he did understand that there is a little person in there. I asked him after dinner if he was ready for the baby to come out of my tummy and he said, "baby go." I am not sure if that meant yes, or if it meant that he wanted the baby to go away! I think (hope) he meant that he wants to the baby to come out! I do too!

New Obsessions

I thought for sure that my second pregnancy would be easier....you know, easier in that I have already been through most of this, I understand a lot of what my body is going through and can anticipate/remember what is to come next. Easier in those ways. What I didn't anticipate is the same silly obsessions, obsessing about the same worries!

My newest pregnancy worry: in our last ultrasound, baby was breech. Though I still have 10 weeks or so remaining, I am worrying about him not turning. I have dreams about emergency C-sections and not being able to have the home-birth we so want to have. I know this is probably normal, but I can't help but think about it. I am pretty sure he turned, but I can't tell and I remember being able to tell with Sam. Matt assures me that I had this same worry with Sam...I can't remember!

Anyway, I have my next appointment with the midwives on Monday and I will ask them to feel around and see if they can tell if he's turned. I know all of the rationalizations...."he'll turn and if he doesn't then he'll come out one way or another and I will have my beautiful baby boy. That is what is most important..." But, I want a natural home birth. The experience is important to me. So many people don't seem to understand that. There are so many babies born everyday that the miracle of life we create has become lost and routine. The whole experience is so much more than that.

Shoes and Other Addictions

No, the shoes are not my addiction....they are my SON'S addiction!! He is 28 months old and he is so particular about shoes...which ones he wants to wear, what shoes other people are wearing...in books, he immediately looks for/at the shoes and we hear about shoes contstantly! He wants shoes on first thing in the morning and I ask him to pick out his shoes...if I choose them there will inevitably be a tantrum. I know this is probably a phase, along with a million other phases we will ride through and I mostly get a kick out of it...but there are many mornings when the word "shoes" is the last word I want to hear.

My recent "addiction", of sorts, is this job. The "non-perks" of the last post aren't so prolific anymore, and it is becoming quite routine and enjoyable. However, a day does not go by where I am not thinking or talking about this job and the "market". It feels good and it feels very strange to have something other than motherhood and Sam to think/talk/dream/obsess/worry about. I do find myself looking forward to the end of the market season already, but only because I am so physically tired at the end of my work days. That is largly due to the pregnancy and my ever-growing belly (of which I have recent photos and will post very soon). The weather is cooling and that helps a lot, but I still find myself quite drained by the time I get home.

Non-Perks of the Job

Ok, so "non-perk" probably isn't even a word, but I needed something to describe the things that I do not like about this job. And they seem a lot like what a "non-perk" would be if it existed.

1. I am SO incredibly tired at the end of my work hours! My body basically shuts down and on the weekends my boys are anxious for me to return home and once I get there I need a cold shower, lots of water and a nap. It is 5 pm or later before I am ready to be social and the part-time hours aren't so part-time when you consider all of that.

2. Sam is really noticing my absence. He is either very clingy or testing old boundaries when he's around me OR he wants nothing to do with me. I know with time he'll adjust, but it is hard for me to not feel guilty about enjoying my time at the market, when I know that his world has been shaken.

So there are the two major "non-perks". I feel like they are pretty big ones, but I still really enjoy the job. With time, both will become less evident.

Perks of the Job

Along with the time away from Sam and the non-mommy socialization I am getting with this market job...there are some great perks!

1. A laptop computer that is Wi-Fi compatible. I have been using it at home and it is so nice to be able to get little things done while Sam is in the living room playing or outside where I can see him. I no longer have to wait until nap time!


2. Lots of free organic veggies and fruit. I don't even need to elaborate!


3. A cute business card...


4. A market cell phone...though I have my own and it almost never rings (thank goodness), it is nice to have the option to make long distance calls on the market dime instead of mine.


5. Radio time! Yes, I did a radio spot on Tuesday afternoon. It will be a weekly event...granted, it was AM radio and it lasted only 5 minutes...but nontheless, it was radio!


6. The proud title of Market Coordiantor for the "most progressive farmer's market in the nation", according to Columbia University. (which Columbia Univ., I am not sure...heh)

Anyway, I am really enjoying the job and I didn't even realize how much I needed something outside of the home and my mommy circle. I have been floating on clouds the last week. I feel so much more fullfilled...and I still get to be at home with Sam! I am such a lucky gal!